When do you need Anger Management ?
Anger is an emotion that is, and must be, felt by all. It is a response to a certain event, thought, emotion, or a person. In small doses, anger is healthy and does not require serious anger management. However, when anger supersedes all other emotions, and becomes all encompassing, that is when grave consideration towards anger management is required.
To identify the requirement for anger management, it is essential to look for signs of anger, irritation, and annoyance, which may be explicit or implicit:
Do people (friends and family) perceive you to be an angry person? Do you get angry easily when others do not do what you want them to do? Do you criticize easily? Are you short-tempered? These behaviours sour interpersonal relationships and must be worked upon for improvement. There is a distinct need for anger management if any of the answers to these questions is a ‘yes’.
People can be defined by their personalities – some are high-strung while others have a calm and casual approach to life. People in the first category (high-strung) tend to get angry very quickly and this characteristic makes them even tenser. This group needs anger management on a regular basis through self-control, suppression of expression and calming themselves. For people who are generally calm and composed, they get ruffled only when the trigger is intense. It takes a lot to make them angry. However, when they do, then watch out! At such times, they do need some amount of anger management.
Different people behave differently in the same situation. This is due to their behavioural traits. However, some have trained themselves to have positive behavioural qualities whereby they tend to keep themselves calm and composed. Others, who are impatient by nature, tend to shoot-off without analyzing the situation. Such people are often in need of anger management. Some persons tend to be ‘complaint boxes’, i.e., complain about everything and tend to blame others. This is also a form of anger and their way of expressing it. This constant ‘blaming’ also needs controlling.
Some people suffer from anger disorder, i.e., they are angry all the time and feel nothing is right. This disorder is not something that is genetic but is adopted through the developmental years and often stems from an inferiority complex or low self-esteem. This needs to be treated as a medical illness and requires professional guidance.
Anger tends to bring out the worst behaviour and is often expressed through physical aggression. When this aggression is repeatedly used, it becomes abusive. Even a slap or a push can be termed as violence. In some countries, a parent lifting his/her hand on a child is considered abuse and he/she has to undergo anger management.
Though depression is considered a specific medical illness, it is related to anger. Very often, it is anger over oneself or others, and an incapacity that stems from this anger, which results in depression. Due to low self-esteem or misery over the state of affairs in one’s life, a person gets depressed. The depression, if temporary, can be tackled immediately through diversion (of mind) tactics. However, if depression becomes deep-rooted, it requires professional help; and one of the modules will be anger management.
If any of the above situations or traits is present in a person, then it is time to evaluate his/her behaviour as it needs control. At the first attempt, anger management can be self-regulated. However, intense anger may require external professional help.